Justin Trudeau

Escape From Socialist Canada?

Sick of Socialism taking over the freedom you once knew? A new real estate business in the States has appeared to help those feeling that way. It’s called Conservative Move, and they help people living in Leftist areas like California sell their homes and relocate to Red states like Idaho and Texas.

While the site was designed by and for Americans, it’s definitely caught the eye of a few of us stuck in Socialist Canada. One of our staff writers has reached out to Conservative Move, hoping he can escape from here and make his way south. Here’s his letter, if you need inspiration for what to write in yours.

-Senior Editor A.


I love your new business concept and would very much love to be a customer!

I bring you greetings from the Socialist Republic of Canada where I am FORCED to buy/use:

  • Government Healthcare (this is despite the fact I do not have a family doctor and none are available for me, leaving me to rely on ER visits and walk-in clinics)
  • Government Car Insurance (at $2500/yr despite a clean driving record of 20 years)
  • Government-store bought Beer and Wine at a minimum of $12 for a six pack or $10 for a bottle of horrible wine

You might think that there would be wider protest against some of these policies in Canada, but when I get home to watch the news, the Government owned-and-run Canadian Broadcasting Corporation rarely does pieces critical of the government. In fact, most of their airtime is devoted to harsh criticism of you guys, our number one trading partner and longest, most reliable ally!

I’m not sure if it would complicate such a move, but I feel you should know that I do own nine guns all of which are registered with the government by law, and I am legally required to renew my federal gun license every five years. As a part of that application, I have to get in touch with my ex-common law wife who has to attest that she “feels safe” knowing that I own guns.

I’m not sure what your service costs – I’m certainly willing to pay, I just only hope I can afford it. I pay almost 50% income tax, my gas costs the equivalent of $6.00 per gallon (we measure it in metric, but that’s what it works out to) and a 5% federal sales tax on EVERYTHING I buy, plus another 7% provincial sales tax on almost everything. This is of course with what’s left of what the gov’t didn’t take off my income in the first place. I do try to “side hustle” with a small side business but of course there I get hammered on “corporate” taxes, capital gains taxes, WCB premiums, payroll taxes, licensing fees and other such disincentives that barely makes my little venture worth the time or the risk.

I don’t know if you have any ability to help me with the necessary immigration process (Green Card, etc) to come to the US, but if you can you can most definitely sign me up. I sure hope you can help – if you can’t, I guess I’ll just wait for the next Democratic President to get in and I’ll just sneak over the border like everyone else does.

Please keep this email confidential as were it to be leaked or revealed to other Canadians, it could be considered “offensive” and I may have to appear before the BC Human Rights tribunal to explain why I have anti-Canadian opinions. This hearing would take place in a private courtroom, not open to the public nor the press.

None of what’s included in this email is even an exaggeration by the way, much less a joke. Trust me, it’s no laughing matter. Take a holiday up here sometimes (you’ll certainly get a good exchange rate on our devalued currency based on decades of poor economic growth and loose fiscal policy) and take a look at the paradise that Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren or Kamala Harris would love to build for you.

Cheers, (anonymous)


Leave a Reply